Bipolar low

Im awake but im not up
Im young but i have no energy to live today
Go away Im up...liar
Ive been up for three hours,Im just lying here...truth
Work? School? Yoga? Walk the dog?.... not today I wont be
I work the energy to get up in fear of hurting her feelings
I should have stayed in bed
Stepping outside hurts my soul...not to be dramatic
The cars and sky just seem to gloom..much like me as i space out the window
Can this be fair...life isnt fair
Im not hung over, Im not on drugs.
This is my reality
The reality of being low...down so low it feels useless to even try to claw my way out
I long for the energy to off myself but am to worthless today to even create a way out
No way out...no way in the real world.
Cant i be normal like the rest of the "norm"
Everything I touch feels like its dieng under my fingertips...i feel lost
Depressed but not sad...just numb to everything that loves or hates me.
Not Human Not Anything....Too low